Wow

This week has been a doozy, and we only had 2 days of school so far. Yesterday the principal told the class that their teacher is on leave and I'm the one that will be with them at least through the end of March.

I know I have instantly become the bad guy, and to be honest, I don't mind. The kids are stuck in a tough place. They are coming from a place of no structure, being "taught" by a teacher who sat at his desk all day. I am enforcing/creating rules, which most often are accompanied by a snare in my general direction. My friend Regina had some great ideas for me when we had coffee together yesterday. She also told me to have pity on the kids, which would help me put things in perspective. I do have pity on them, and I am also mad at their former teacher for letting them get to this point.

I guess I don't remember much about fifth grade. I certainly don't remember having this much hutzpah at this age. I don't remember that defiance was okay, or even a given. I don't remember talking incessantly when another person (teacher or classmate) was speaking. I don't remember acting like a kindergartner in fifth grade skin.

Yesterday I intercepted notes that were passed back and forth by 4 girls who were supposed to be silent reading. They contained awful words about other classmates. When I mentioned it to my principal today, she said to make copies of the notes, staple them in their planners, and leave a message at each one of their houses. I did what the boss told me. Then I called up each of the four girls and told them what I had done. (You know, I thought my divas were bad in 4th grade. That was nothing.)

Each one of them came up sheepishly and looked at me with deer-in-the-headlights eyes. Except for the girl with attitude who tried to convince me that "it wasn't her writing". Where my next line came from, I don't know, but I said, "Well, then you can explain that to your Mom." (I didn't think "save the drama for the mama" would suffice here.)

As if that wasn't enough, yesterday I also realized that one of my students went into my desk to retrieve something that I had taken away earlier in the day. Although the desk hasn't become "mine" yet, I still consider it off-limits by the students. I mean, I don't go into their stuff without asking. ("You toucha my stuff, I breaka your face" just came to mind.) Those boys were asked to see the principal first thing this morning. She set out to scare them a little. It worked for about 3 hours.

It's too early to tell, but I don't know what these kids really need. No reprimand affects them. Take away recess? They don't flinch. Call their house? Go ahead. I need to build community, all my mentors tell me. I'm trying. Two feet forward, ten feet back, you know? Good thing we're studying negative numbers right now.

I am looking forward to Friday. If I can make it until then, I will then have a week off to regroup, recoup, and plan. I can't wait. We all need it.