Long-Term Sub Job

The past couple days have been sort of a whirlwind for me in the teaching world. On Thursday night, I got a call from one of the 5th grade teachers at the school where I did my student teaching. He said he needs to go on leave for six weeks, and asked if I would like a long-term sub job. I was going into school the next day to sub for Linda's 4th grade class, so I told him I would talk to him then. I thought, although 5th grade is not my ideal grade, a long-term sub position would look great on my resume. I also thought, I can do it, it's only six weeks. In the grand scheme of things, what's six weeks out of my life?

The next day I went into the school and the principal talked to me. She said that the 5th grade is a difficult class, but she knows that they really need structure, and knows that I can give them the structure they need. I thought it was a nice compliment, but also thought maybe it was a way to get me to accept the job? Who knows. I told her I would take it.

I talked to Matt and Linda later that day and told them what the principal had said. Matt said that the class was one of his favorite classes, and he couldn't understand why their behavior has been so bad. He thought that with the proper structure, they would be fine.

After school on Friday I met with the teacher who was going on leave. He showed me around his room and explained some of the procedures for the classroom. I was able to get a bit of an idea about how things worked in his class. What I failed to realize, was that this was going to be the last time that I would see him before I started. He wanted me to sub the following Monday (today) and then I would start two days later.

I subbed today for him. Just as with any sub job, I was tested from the minute the kids got to the classroom. I didn't notice the seating chart (did he show that to me on Friday?) until the end of the day, and assumed that all the kids would be sitting in their appropriate seats. I should've known. Kids will be kids - and 5th graders live for getting away with stuff. I reached a level of frustration today that I haven't experienced since student teaching. I began to doubt myself and my abilities. I began to think maybe this long-term sub thing wasn't for me. When I talked to the principal at lunch time, she said, "You can always reconsider if you want." I was tempted.

Then, in the afternoon, when I had the other 5th grade class for their math lesson, things went a little better. I regained my confidence and thought back to my mantra, "I can do this for 6 weeks." I spoke with the reading specialist and she pumped up the whole thing by saying, "Just think of the difference you can make with this class." I thought about all the other "advisors" I have in my back pocket. My student teaching advisor, a former teacher, teacher friends, Mickey, my Mom, etc. I thought about all the encouraging things that these people have said already. They have confidence in me. I need to remember this when the going gets rough. I know that it is going to get tougher before it gets easier. But there is a light at the end of the tunnel. It's in six weeks, and it's called spring break.