Endings

Most endings are bittersweet for me. Usually they're sad because of the closing, the finality. But they're also exciting because of the promise of new beginnings, a fresh start. That is exactly how I'm feeling this week. Bittersweet.

It's hard to believe that this will be my last week of student teaching. Not to sound cliche, but I feel like it was just last week that Linda and I were getting the room ready to start the year. Now it's time to leave. This past week flew by as I was weaning myself from teaching all the lessons to just teaching two. I resumed my role as observer once again, watching Linda as she took over in the classroom. She's the pro, and she took over flawlessly.

In the next week I will be giving back all of the teaching as I wrap up the units in writing and science. I will be getting my portfolio together in a more polished state. I will also be getting my thank you notes written.

Linda told me what they typically do for student teachers who are leaving. Friday afternoon, the kids (from both 4th grade classrooms) will gather in one room, in a circle. I will be the guest of honor. Each child will say something that he/she appreciates about me. "I have never had a student teacher who didn't cry at this point," Linda said. I started getting choked up as she was explaining it.

I'm going to be a mess on Friday.

I am feeling bittersweet about this ending. I'm sad that I won't see all of these kids on a regular basis, sad that I won't get to see the strides that they will make by the end of the school year. But I'm excited to start the next phase of my learning, to actually get out there and put what I've learned into action. I'm definitely ready. Am I going to trip and fall and skin my knees as I start teaching? Of course. Will I have hard days when I wish that I was instead working at Hallmark (a family joke)? You bet. But I know that "the hook" is there. The hook is what my friend Regina calls the breakthroughs with a child, or a good lesson taught, or a kind gesture from one of your students. I have been "hooked" and it's what gets you through the other more difficult days.

After this week, I will no longer be a student teacher, I will be a teacher. Wow.