The Fat Lady Sang

The Kids and Me on the Last Day

It's over, folks. I can't believe it. 3 months of student teaching, over. 3 months of excitement, nervousness, hilarity, tears, smiles, frustration, and wonderful kids, over. It went by really fast, I have to admit. Now I keep thinking about my experience and wonder if I got enough training. It's the paranoid side of endings for me. Was that enough? Am I prepared? My logical side tells me I am.

Friday was a great day, but it was filled with so much emotion. I prepared all of my thank you cards and gifts on Thursday night, and woke up early on Friday morning to do some last minute things. The other student teachers and I brought treats for the faculty and staff, so I had a lot to carry into school in addition to the cards and gifts. I had the feeling that I've had many times on the last day of school before a holiday - excitement and anticipation. I knew that the day ahead was going to be filled with all kinds of fun things. I was ready.

For most of the day I was out of the classroom, preparing the things I made for the class, or observing other teachers. Linda mentioned that she was already tired and ready for a break. Hmm, I thought, I'm done. And I get a break after today. Hooray for me!

In the afternoon, Matt's class came over to our room to join our class. All the kids (36) sat in a circle. Each one of them said something that they appreciated about me. Some of the things they said surprised me, like saying that they appreciated how I helped them in math when they didn't understand it. Math is one subject I don't really enjoy teaching, so to hear this gave a boost to my confidence. As I listened to all the kids, I wondered what was wrong with me. I wasn't crying like Linda said I would.

Then Matt spoke.

He went on to say that this was a really big day for me. He tried to put it into perspective from their point of view, saying that I've had this goal for a long time and it took many years of going to school to accomplish it. He said, "This is a really big deal for Mrs. Steinhauer." It hit me at that point. I was done. I finally got to the point that at one time seemed so far off. The floodgates opened.

Then Linda spoke. She said that she learns from her student teachers and what she learned from me was calmness. She said no matter how crazy the kids would get, I would remain calm. She said that she needs to learn how to be more calm too. She also said that we had a great time during our planning periods. We would talk with each other and laugh. I agreed. Those were some of the best times I had with her. It was during those talks that I learned even more about teaching. I also learned more about Linda.

Then Matt asked if I had anything to say. I did have something to say, I had a whole speech planned out in my head. The speech went out the window. I forgot everything I wanted to say. Instead, through tears and a cracking voice, I told the kids that this was a big deal, but they could also get to this point if they believe in themselves. I told them that I know that they can get here someday.

Matt pulled a book from behind his back. There, on the front of this homemade, bound book, was 2 pictures, one of each class. And inside, all different colored pages with pictures and notes from all 36 of the kids. I was so surprised. What a gift. Linda typed up all the appreciations that the kids had submitted about me. We normally do appreciations on Fridays before the kids leave for the weekend. It gives them a good feeling regardless of how their week went. It had the same effect on me as I read over them later. One, in particular, cracked me up and also kind of summed up my experience:

"I appreciate Mrs. Steinhauer because she was helpful the last 15 weeks! It just was really kind and sweet of her to even like this class because sometimes we can be bad or a little crazy!"

Then the combined "party" was over. Matt's class came up to me and hugged me. It became a group hug and started to get a little scary as we started falling over! We quickly recovered and I said goodbye to Matt's class.

Then it was time to give out my "gifts" to the kids. I had printed out a motivational poem about seeing themselves as I see them, and believing in themselves as I believe in them. I mounted this on green paper and then wrote an individual note to each student on the back. I read the poem out loud (again through tears and a cracking voice) and then gave them out one by one. I wasn't expecting what was going to come next.

Some of the kids were sobbing.

I knew some of the kids were going to cry, even sob. But some of the kids I didn't expect at all. The class clown? I didn't think he liked me. The boy whose name I said in my sleep because I repeated it all day, everyday? I didn't think he cared at all. It was surprising, and it made me cry harder too. I kept reminding them that I was going to be back, I was even going to sub for Linda in 2 weeks. It didn't matter. They knew as well as I did that we weren't going to be together everyday. I tried to break up the mood by giving them the class presents from me. I wrapped up the game Sorry, a Mad Libs card game, and a book that the class liked. They seemed touched, but this didn't help to ease the sadness. It just continued.

Linda finally had the answer. She told the kids to clean out their desks. So they did. We put on one of their favorite CDs, and it seemed to keep our minds off of things. Even at the end of the day when I gave them hugs before they left the building, it didn't seem so bad. I know I'll see them again, and they do too.

What a day. The end of an era. The beginning of a new one. A bit intimidating, a bit exciting. I don't know for sure what I will be doing weeks or months from now, but I know it will involve teaching. Probably substitute teaching, but teaching nonetheless.

I'm done. And I'm ready.