Slowing Down

Can you believe it? I finished my solo weeks of student teaching yesterday. Although it was a pretty anti-climactic day, it felt so good when it was over. I started getting excited on Tuesday night when I realized the end was near. I was also excited because I knew the next day would be a little more relaxed since it was the day before Thanksgiving break. I printed out tons of activity sheets (mostly math ones) and turkey bingo. I was prepared. In fact, I was overly prepared. Matt, the other 4th grade teacher, said to me once, "It's better to be over prepared." He's so right. It just makes me feel better, knowing that I can deal with most things that come up.

I woke up excited to go to school. I haven't had that feeling since I was a kid in school. We had an assembly in the morning, so Linda helped to prep the kids before. As she took over the morning meeting, she said, "Sorry, I'm just having a lot of fun with them." Have at it, I thought. I was supposed to be solo, but I let go. I was solo for a good 8 or so days out of the 10 (not counting the 6 days that I was solo with a sub), and I gained the confidence that I need. Like a good grandma at the end of a visit, it was time to give the kids back. I did manage to do some teaching, but not a lot. We gave the kids a lot of time to play yesterday. They needed a break and so did we. It was fun just to play together.

At the end of the day, I felt really tired. After having dinner, I was asleep on the couch by about 8:30! I think my body was telling me that it's time to slow down. Finally.

This morning I slept in until 7:00. I didn't have to rush anywhere. I didn't need to be anywhere, except for my massage at noon. I was able to go work out (which I haven't done in a week and 1/2) and then eat a leisurely breakfast.

On the way to my massage, I heard a report on NPR about how most people on average travel at least 50 miles (mostly by car) to go to Thanksgiving. I smiled and felt lucky as I thought about our plans for tomorrow. We'll be traveling to Matt and Anne's house. They live four blocks away.

Before the massage, I stopped by the farmer's market to look for Brussels sprouts. We're bringing a vegetable to Matt and Anne's tomorrow, so in addition to the traditional green bean casserole, we're bringing these Brussels sprouts: http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/recipes/recipe/0,,FOOD_9936_24942,00.html

At the farmer's market, there were a lot of people rushing around getting last minute things for the holiday. I felt so lucky to be able to meander through the market, looking at all the root vegetables, breads, and pies ready to be eaten. I didn't need to carry a list and cross things off. I didn't need to rush. I could just take it all in. I helped a woman get herself situated after trying to juggle the groceries in her bags. "I have an 18 pound turkey in my bag," she huffed as she shifted her bags. Again, I thought how lucky I was. All I have is 2 pounds of Brussels sprouts in my bag.

Then I had my massage. Ah, how luxurious that felt. The masseuse used the hot stones to get into my muscles. The weather outside today was rainy, grey, and chilly. A perfect day to be inside in a warm room on a warm table being warmed by hot stones. She even put little stones in between my toes at one point. I never had that done in the previous hot stone massages I've had. Boy, did that feel good on my normally frigid feet. I told the masseuse that I just finished a tough couple of weeks and that my back and shoulders were probably pretty tight. She worked on my back and shoulders to get out all the knots. Judging from the work that she did, I bet some of my muscles resembled some of the gnarly, twisted vegetables I saw at the farmer's market. Afterward, I sort of floated slowly down the street. I felt really light, like the massage helped to let everything go. It definitely helped me to slow down.

I came home, ate some lunch, and took time to make dinner. This whole day has felt like a luxury to me. It's been too long since I've had the luxury of time. In the past 3 months, everything has felt rushed. From sleep, to eating, to making dinner (the few times I have actually made dinner). Today felt like a gift to me. Something that I was waiting for and finally got. Boy, did it feel good.