Mama Said There'd Be Days Like This

Ah, yes. The solo weeks started this week. This was supposed the "easy" week, wasn't it? The week when I had only three days of teaching? Yeah, not so much.

Monday went fine. Linda really didn't stay out of the room completely, but managed to stay out enough for the kids to know that I was the one in charge. She admits she has a hard time losing control, which I've heard is not unusual for teachers. I get it.

Tuesday the kids were off, but we had meetings in the morning and parent/teacher conferences in the afternoon. Yesterday went okay. I even managed to get through the math lesson, although the kids were looking at me like I had five heads and acted up to show this. My girls with attitude were in rare form too. Just another day in 4th grade.

Then the lights went out.

Well, they didn't actually go out, thanks to the generator. They went brown. So, just before lunch, I had to call my advisor to tell her the news. You see, I was supposed to be observed yesterday. And the lesson I was to teach? Most of it was on powerpoint. How was I going to pull that off? Have the class of kids gather around my laptop and hope that the battery doesn't die? No thanks. In all of my classes I have been taught to have a back-up plan in case things with technology don't work out. My back-up plan? Reschedule. Besides, the kids were off the hook. It was like they never had the electricity go out.

We got through the afternoon, after revamping some of the schedule. Linda took over a little more since I never encountered a "crisis" yet.

Then today came. I couldn't sleep this morning, so I got up early and got to school by 7:00 am. I was going to be prepared today. I was going to get everything I needed to be done for the day and then have time to get things together before my observation. The kids had art for an hour this morning, so I had even more time. I got everything set up, I was ready. The kids were a little crazed this morning, but it was understandable since Linda wasn't there. Oh yeah, I forgot that part. Linda took the day off.

I told the kids that my advisor was coming in to observe me and also observe them. I thought that may have been the key to getting them in order. Apparently not.

When I said they were off the hook yesterday, I don't know what I was thinking. Today they were downright crazy. I pulled out all the stops. I tried everything. I was polite. I was firm. I asked kids to "help me out". Nothing worked. Nothing. I finally told my advisor that I was going to be splitting this lesson into two parts and the first part was ending. NOW. I wrapped up the session and had the sub take the kids out to recess.

Then I got all the feedback from my advisor. She had mostly good things to say, knowing the circumstances involved. About five minutes into our meeting, the floodgates opened. I lost it. She always says that she carries kleenex with herself for such times. I always told myself that I "would never need them". Today I needed them. She was really nice and listened to me while I vented. A lot of things have been frustrating me lately, and I just had it. It all came out in tears. I pulled myself together, just in time to have the sub come back and tell me 2 of the kids got in a fight and were in the office. Just in time for the rest of the kids to come back from computers and be off the walls yet once again.

Tomorrow I have my workshop, so I won't be teaching anything. I'm grateful for the break. The only thing I keep thinking is, how am I going to last for 5 days next week and then the 2 days before Thanksgiving?

Mama also said this too shall pass. That's what I'm counting on.