A New Day

I was really upset last night at my bad day yesterday (Stein can attest to this. He had to listen to me boo-hoo all night). I think I was upset mainly because I didn't get the break I was so looking forward to. I try to think of myself as a spontaneous person, but really, I am my mother's daughter. I am a planner.

I went into school this morning with another plan. I was going to have a talk with the class about how we all felt about yesterday. I was going to be more calm about my reactions. I was going to be proactive in stopping situations from escalating. I found that I didn't need all of those things. I was feeling really confident going into lunch. In fact, I had a breakthrough with Mr. Crumpled Paper. (He even said to me at one point when another kid was throwing a tantrum, "Sometimes I feel like that, but I never get like that." I didn't say a word.)

Then we went to recess.

When the sub from my room checked on the kids and everything was okay, I started talking to a fellow student teacher. In a matter of a couple minutes, another teacher came walking over to me saying, "Are those your kids?" Yes, those are my kids, I thought. The ones who were wrestling and pretty much beating each other up. Those are my kids that I wasn't watching. Nice job, student teacher. She called them over and gave them a yelling. They were just yelled at yesterday when they were doing the same thing. Apparently that wasn't effective.

When the kids got back from computers, I used my mad teacher's voice to lecture them. I told them that I hated to use that voice, and I know they hated hearing it. We talked about the "3 B's" of our school - Be Safe, Be Respectful, and Be Responsible, and how we broke all three. I told them that they are fourth graders and they should know better. (I think this last statement was told to me a couple times in my youth, either by nuns or my mom.) Then Mr. Crumpled Paper slammed his desk top down when I asked him to put away his paper and read and said, "YOU CAN'T MAKE ME READ!!!" I said to him calmly, "I thought you don't act like this." I probably shouldn't have said this, but I couldn't help it. He not only got on my last nerve, he rode that nerve to next week.

Looking back on the day, I don't feel nearly as bad as I did yesterday. I felt like again they were trying to get away with a lot because Linda wasn't there. I can't feel that bad about it. This happens all the time.

Tomorrow I have a workshop from 12-3, so I'll need to leave school at 11:00. I can handle it. Linda will be back, and the subjects I'm supposed to teach are scheduled for the afternoon. Yes, I can handle it really well.