Frustration

So it's that time again. Target is telling us, Bed Bath and Beyond had a huge sign in front of their store telling us, and even Yahoo's web page mast is telling us.

It's Back to School time.

I'm not ready. I just finished summer school last Thursday, and most annoyingly, I don't have a job for fall. Sure, I can sub like I did last year, but really? I want a real job. One in a real classroom that's mine, where everyday the kids come in, hang up their coats, sit down and we learn. We read, do a little math, I read to them, do a little science, well, you get the picture. I want that.

The job market in Michigan is like everywhere else in this country, only worse. And the job market for teachers? Let's just say it's even worse than that. This May, there were 5 openings in the Ann Arbor schools, and 2,000 people applied. 2,000 people! How do you even begin to set yourself aside from anyone else when there are that many people? Back in the day, it was who you knew. I am very familiar with this system, having grown up in Chicago. But unfortunately, the system is now so objective (barring a few equal-opportunity laws) that everyone has an "equal chance". Yep, as equal and as easy as finding a needle in a haystack.

I feel like I've paid my dues. There was that crazy fifth-grade long term sub job I had nearly a year and half ago, followed by a summer school gig, and then the long-term library and computer teacher stint. A repeat of my summer school gig this summer should only build my experience, right? Well, at least I think so. And all of my friends and family think so.

I'm beginning to think that my time spent in the business world has jaded my switch into the world of education. I look at education so many times as a business and think that many aspects could be better managed and made more efficient with some system changes. But that doesn't happen overnight. If you thought the government was the only place with red tape, loopholes, and general nonsense, think again. So when I don't get a job, or even an interview, yet I have a lot of experience and glowing reviews, I'm at a loss. In the business world, I would have that job, and would be considered for a promotion already.

One person had the nerve to say to me, "So what are you going to do?" Like I would possibly go back to my job in the business world because I couldn't find a teaching job. Well, I left that job for a reason: to follow my passion, to go back to school to get my certificate, and to get a job. Even though all of those things haven't happened, I haven't lost my passion, and I still love to teach.

I will most likely be a sub again this fall, only this time it probably won't be a long-term sub position. I will be in the pool of people who stalk the computer each night, hoping that a teacher somewhere is sick, or faking sick, and needs a sub. I will be one of the people who gets phone calls at 6:00 am even though I already said I was "off" in the system, wanting to know if I could sub for a random person. Honestly, I'm not looking forward to that. My friend Matt told me that he loved subbing. "I always got great ideas when I subbed!" I'm going to sound bitter when I say this, but I have enough good ideas, and I'm ready to use them in a real classroom. Oh, and if I need more, I can search the internet.

Too many people have said to me, "Your time is going to come." Or, "There is a classroom just waiting for you." Well, that time is now. And that classroom is waiting for me to put up bulletin boards and arrange desks. Let's go. I'm ready.