On Having Manners

I have been thinking about manners a lot lately. I guess I didn't mention that in yesterday's post. It's that attention span of a gnat, you see. Things come and go in a flash.

I have been amazed lately at the amount of nerve some people have. I grew up in a home where not expecting more than you deserve was the norm. I was taught that you get what you get, and unless you need to speak up because of unfairness, you don't. You don't inconvenience people. You get what you give. You are never entitled to something simply for the fact that you think you are entitled.

Lately I have taken notice of people who exhibit this sense of entitlement, this nerve. I don't know if there has been an increase in this type of behavior or if I am just noticing it more. Regardless, it never ceases to amaze me when I witness it.

I like to be mindful with manners. I say "excuse me" when I bump into someone, say "please" when I would like something, and say "thank you" when someone gives me something. I write thank you notes when someone gives me something. In my mind, you can never go too far with manners. It's a token of respect; of saying to someone, "I appreciate the effort that you're making for me".

A couple things happened to me in the last few days that made me stop and take a little more notice on the subject. Wednesday, I was at the farmer's market (ah, summer, thank you for Wednesday afternoons at the farmer's market) and got in line to buy some cherries. The woman behind the table asked what I wanted to buy. "A pint of cherries, please," I said. Then I looked to my left and saw a woman standing there. Instinctively, I turned to her and said, "I'm sorry, were you in line first?" She shook her head and said no. As I was paying for my cherries, the woman behind the table lowered her voice and said, "I have to give you a compliment. Thank you for asking that woman if she was next. There are some rude people who come here, trying to push their way in, and don't care who is in their way or who is next." I just shrugged my shoulders and said, "Oh, thanks, I don't like when people do that to me, so I wanted to make sure." She added, "Well, people also don't point out the positives enough, so I needed to share that with you." Okay, cherry lady, thanks for the manners lesson. Point well taken!

A few days later I headed to the garden center to buy some last-minute things we needed in the yard. As I left the store, I took notice of the woman who was in front of me in the checkout line, positioning her cart in the parking lot so it wouldn't roll away. She wasn't putting it in a place that carts were supposed to go, she was putting it in a place that was convenient to her. This is one of my pet peeves. It makes parking in the lot an obstacle course, and also makes the store employees go out of their way to collect rogue carts. After loading my trunk, I made my way back toward the store and slid my cart back in place where the other carts were located. As I walked away, I heard one of the employees say, "Thanks miss, for doing that, and have a great holiday weekend." It was nice to hear that, but I certainly didn't expect it. I just did what I thought needed to be done.

Where does rudeness or being impolite come into play? Where does it start? I'm baffled by it. I don't get it. And I guess that's a good thing.